Aaand we’re back.  Stupid hackers.  I hate you.  Unless you plan on infecting the site with malware again.  Then I plan on bribing you with homemade cookies.  Thanks to JN for getting the site back up, it took a little longer than expected due to some changes we’re making to the archive that will eventually go into effect later this month.

Does everyone remember the scene in The Bourne Identity when he finds all the fake passports and gun in his safety deposit box in Zurich?  I got a devious grin on my face when I thought of all the different things I could have him find in there instead.  In the end, I went with pizza (I think I was hungry at the time), but I’d be interested in hearing what YOU would have put in the box for him to discover.

EDIT: Someone translated this comic into Russian. See it here.

“A poop joke?” you ask.

“Yeah, gorillas are known for eating their own poop,” I respond.

“Oh,” you say. “You are super smart and sexy, Joe.”

“I know,” I say. “But ogle these videos instead.”

Click here to view the embedded video.

Click here to view the embedded video.

Click here to view the embedded video.

P.S. – The story of King Kong, while it may be classic, is really freakin’ lame.  Seriously, I hate these movies.  My wife and I want to shoot our own version where King Kong kills everyone.

Does anybody remember the Playboy page taped to a fuse box in the movie?  It was just so random, John McClane even did a double take when running past it.  I thought it was so hilarious and wanted to expand upon it.

My brother-in-law told me he remembers hearing a rumor about the production that Bruce Willis’ reaction to the porn was genuine.  According to him, someone on the crew taped the centerfold on the set as a gag and it was left in the movie.  (After googling it, I found out the centerfold is 1987 Playmate of the month, Pamela Stein.)

I actually tried drawing my first nude with this strip, but it came out all wrong and was not doing the female form any justice. All the women I draw are ugly, I think, so I just decided to screen capture the actual image of the centerfold in the movie and trace it.

That son of a bitch. How DARE he mock my paper bag puppet of him!

It’s a good thing Joe is funny. Though I heard rumors he is being replaced by Carrot Top.

Joe, please look at this post as your official kick into your nut sack.

Click here to view the embedded video.

Good Day, sir.

I wanted to use the term “retard strength” somewhere in there, but couldn’t fit it in.

I’ve always thought Chewbacca was mentally challenged.  I mean, look at the guy:

The joke just kinda came about from my longtime semi-annoyance with the look of the character and that sound he makes.

When I set out to write Chewy’s cry in text form, I drew a huge blank.  I googled how to write it, and came across this, this and this, which gave such varied answers as: “rtttttttttttttttttttttt,” “ududududududud,” and “Maaaaaarh!!!!!”

Now, I don’t know about them, but when I try (fail) to speak Shyriiwook, I think of it as a mix of a tarzan yell, growl and gurgle sound.  So in the end, I just tried combining them in text and came up with “Arrguglharrghrar!”  It doesn’t really sound like it, but then again I don’t know what does.  If you have any ideas how to write out Chewbacca’s roar, let me know in the comments.

Donkey waffles?  Sounds delicious!

In  the “What If?” scenario for this strip, I asked myself what would’ve happened if Lord Farquaad relocated all the fairy-tale creatures somewhere other than the swamp.  I figure Donkey wouldn’t have survived that first night, what with his attention deficit hyperactive disorder and Shrek’s extreme carnivorous-ness.  It’s kinda sad because I really like Donkey.  But hey, that’s why it’s called the Circle of Life, am I right?

On a side note, I’m starting to think that none of my blog posts make sense.  See you next week!

I swear it’s not because I’m lazy. (yes it is) I do have legitimate reasons for being flaky these past couple months. (legitimate like lazy) This last Saturday was my wedding reception.  See, I got married in April in Vegas, (just wait until his wife finds out about the hookers) but a lot of my family and friends (by friends he means family, Joe has no friends) weren’t able to attend.  So we had a celebration here that took almost as much preparation as the wedding itself.  BUT, that’s the end of it.  No more planning, no more errands, no more delays.  Ever.  Well, not ever, but for a long while, I assume.

I was planning on getting this next strip up tomorrow, (see, told you he hadn’t started it yet) but I just got the joke down today ($10 says it’s a gay donkey joke) and don’t want it looking like crap. (isn’t that an oxymoron for For the Reels in general?) So come back this Monday as we spoof Shrek!

This post was updated for clarity by jhorsley3.

If you can tell, I modeled the dominatrix robot after Jocasta, for the comic fans.    At first, I was hesitant doing an Iron Man gag because I had just done X-Men about a month ago, and I like to keep things varied.  But I saw Iron Man 2 last Thursday at a midnight showing and knew I just had to spoof the first one.

I thought Iron Man 2 was awesome, just as good as the first.  My only quibbles, which are fanboy nitpicking, are just of the supporting characters.  Black Widow never spoke Russian and never used her trademark “widow’s bite” laser.  Ivan Vanko never became the Crimson Dynamo like I thought he was supposed to.  And Nick Fury didn’t really act like Nick Fury; he acted like Samuel L. Jackson.

However, I loved the story, I loved the acting, I loved the amped-up action.  Jon Favreau and Robert Downey Jr. definitely know how to handle the character of Tony Stark and can do no wrong in my book.  Go see the movie if you haven’t.  I wish I had more hands, that way I could give it four thumbs up!

Yea!  Another parody!  Thanks to all of you who were so patient with me as I prepared for my wedding these past weeks.  Now that I’m hitched, I don’t have to worry about planning anymore and can devote more time to the comic.

It’s been a while since we’ve done an old classic, so here’s a parody of one of the best!  You might not get the joke if you haven’t seen the movie, but this is a spoof on the final scene.  In it, Humphrey Bogart’s character, Rick, just let the love of his life leave on a plane with her husband for America.  He and Captain Renault have a close friendship.  Renault even said he would be in love with Rick if he were a chick.  Needless to say, between losing his girl and walking shoulder to shoulder with the guy he’s going to flee to France with, it’s appropriate for any cynic’s gay-dar to get a few blips.

Congrats to You two! I’m happy for you both!

Last week I spent all my time doing wedding/bachelor party stuff.  And this week I get married.  So times are crazy right now!  Luckily though, JN was cool enough to make a Behind-The-Scenes strip this week (and maybe next week?).

So for this blog update, I thought I share with all of you the details of the awesome, awesome bachelor party I had last Saturday.  First, me and 18 other dudes went paintballing at an outdoor place in Dacono, CO.  It was raining pretty good at first, so for the first game I slipped in the mud, got shot, tried to jump to my feet and run, slipped again, dropped my extra ammo canister, got shot again, stood up, tried to pick up my ammo canister, got shot again, got pissed, got shot again, then left the field to get more paint.  After that, though, the rain cleared up and I had a lot of fun.  They had a real downed helicopter there that we got to defend in one scenario, and a two story building built like the alamo.  I got shot point-blank in the back by my little brother Jordan which left a huge bruise, and promptly ran away from my team when I heard they were about turn on me and do a “bachelor send-off.”  They did manage to shoot me in the chest, ass, and arm, but at least I didn’t end up with leopard-like bruises all over my back like Jon did at his bachelor send-off.

After paintball we went to my future parents-in-law’s house were we drank.  I spent the week before the party building a super sick beer pong table with my best man John.  We made it look exactly like a basketball court, polished and all.  I had bought some orange ping pong balls and marked them to look like tiny basketballs.  One of my friends brought his beer pong table too, so we had a nice tournament going.  I won the first game I played, but lost the next two, so needless to say I was kind of drunk. ‘Cause in addition to that I had a few gin drinks and people kept wanting to take shots with me.  I’m kind of a lightweight when it comes to drinking.  Someone gave me a cigar and I threw up trying to smoke it.  And then I threw up in the bathroom again right before the arrival of the strippers my future brother-in-law ordered.

The strippers were ok.  One was a blonde and one was a brunette, and both were super tan.  One thing I didn’t know about strippers was how much they love money.  It cost $400 just to order them and they’re constantly asking for more money for the duration of the show.  It was a freaky experience for me (not just because I thought I might puke again at any moment) because as the bachelor, I was obligated to subject myself to things you wouldn’t do to a dog.  They laid me down, took off my shirt and put lotion on my chest.  They then had the guys stick their $1 bills to my chest, which soon evolved to slamming the bills onto my chest and even slamming one on my face, which hurt.  My friends are dicks.  The chicks eventually did get all the way naked and they did stick candles in their hoo-hahs, which you couldn’t really see because all the lights were turned off.  And, again, I was really drunk.

After the strippers left, I spent the rest of my night in the hot tub outside.  It was like that movie Hot Tub Time Machine but without all the time travel.  And someone stole my clothes, so I had to try and find them in my boxers and it was freezing.  My fiance drove us home and I passed out pretty quickly.  All in all, I’d say it was a pretty awesome day.

Seriously though. Joe didn’t even say a WORD to me about this bachelor party. I’m so hurt inside.

(EDIT: LOOKS LIKE THE IMAGE ISN’T LOADING FOR NOW, J WILL BE AVAILABLE TO FIX THAT SOON. BY “SOON” I MEAN SOMETIME TODAY… HOPEFULLY.  ’CAUSE HE HAS WORK AND SCHOOL.  FOR NOW, CHECK THE STRIP OUT ON OUR FACEBOOK PAGE.  DON’T FORGET TO BECOME A FAN.

IT’S FIXED YOU JERK -j

YOU’RE THE JERK, YOU JERK!!! – JOE

No, your the jerk. Don’t make me do something mean to you! Jerk – J
First person who can tell me the names of each character and movie that is quoted in the panels above (i.e. whoever can google it the fastest) wins a prize of 7 billion internets.

Honorable mention Sam Jackson quotes:

“You know me. It’s my duty to please that booty.” – John Shaft, Shaft

“AK-47. The very best there is. When you absolutely, positively got to kill every motherfucker in the room, accept no substitutes.” – Ordell Robbie, Jackie Brown

“Like Jesus Christ said, “I’m a suffa’ you. I’m a suffa’ you!” – Lazarus, Black Snake Moan

“I should’ve known way back when. You know why, David? Because of the kids. They called me Mr. Glass.” – Elijah Price, Unbreakable

“You tell me where my suit is, woman!” – Frozone, The Incredibles

And every other line he does in Pulp Fiction.

So no update for today, but things should be calming down here soon.  I’ll be able to post a comic for April 12th and 19th, but will probably have to skip the 26th ’cause I’ll have gotten married that weekend.  Then it’s smooth sailing again.

Thanks to everyone for their understanding.  If you’re still looking for laughs, try checking out the rest of y2cl.net.

I had several ideas running through my head when I decided to finally parody “X-Men.”  None of them were actually any good, though, so I decided to go with my foolproof backup plan, which was ask Jon to write it.  He thought of the first part of this strip on the spot, and I laughed pretty hard.

I decided to add the last three panels because I really wanted to draw Cyclops.  ’Cause he’s awesome and one of my favorites.  It always made me mad how the films never really gave him the respect he deserved.  I mean, he played a minor supporting role in “X2″ since he was brainwashed for the majority of the movie, and they killed him 15 minutes into X-Men 3!!!  And then to top it all off, in “X-Men Origins: Wolverine,” they took away his optic force blasts and gave him heat vision, like Superman.  Dicks!!! >:(

</geeky rant>

Here’s my excuse as to why there’s no update today.  You know that time in your life when you’re about to get married and move in with your spouse-to-be and you have to juggle wedding planning and apartment searching and a ton of other stuff?  That was this past week for me.

On the positive side of things, I found the venue for my wedding reception and made the deposit.  And I found a great apartment that I made a deposit on as well.  And Melissa and I spent a whole day registering for wedding gifts.  And I started the never-ending task of preparing 300 invitations.  And I got things set for my bachelor party.  And on and on and on.

The negative side of things, of course, was that I didn’t get the time to work on the strip.   Until the wedding on April 24, I may have to institute a bi-weekly schedule so I can keep my sanity.  ’Cause I’ll be moving here soon, too.

I’m sorry.  I suck.  If it’s not one thing it’s another, huh?  I promise things won’t stay this way.  If need be, vent your frustrations below.

That’s right!  Thanks to Onezumi and Harknell from the webcomic Stupid and Insane Defenders Against Chaos, we have a downloadable iPhone app!  So if you have the hardware, head over to the iTunes store and download For The Reels Central, where you can stay up to date with FTR whether you’re on the run or just have the runs.

Aaand, we’re back with another parody!  Sorry about that, folks. my computer got sick and then I got sick. But we’re both in good health now, so be sure to keep coming back weekly as we crank out more movie spoofs!

If I’m not mistaken, this is the first For The Reels joke that JN wrote by himself.  Normally, his ideas involve abortions, Pauly Shore, or both – but there was something special, different and more tasteful about this one.  It was actually funny, too.  I laughed out loud a lot when drawing it.

Surprisingly, he wrote the strip having only seen the trailer to Taken.  He did see the film later and thought it was really good.  I agree.  Though, any film with Liam Neeson being a B.A.M.F. has to be good.  It’s the law.

Jon doesn’t like it when I use him as a character for the BTS strips (which possibly makes this funnier).  … I think it has something to do with the fact that I made him into a wannabe-asian-popstar. 

It’s not something I originally planned when we started doing Behind The Scenes strips.  His character just kind of evolved that way when we explained his current, one-year stay in South Korea.  For that, I apologize, Jon.  I promise your character will be salvaged by learning Tae-Kwon-Do and kicking our asses or something.

Thanks again to JN for drawing these BTS strips.  Well, not drawing so much as photoshopping.  With some drawing.  Either way, you rock.  Just one more strip until my computer’s fixed and you guys get your next parody!

P.S. – No, Mom, I’m not gay.  JN just keeps inserting these gay vibes into the strips.  I think because he’s gay.  Or bi.  … Possible hermaphrodite…

Ahhh… week two without my computer.  I’m having withdrawals.  Just a couple more weeks and we’ll have more movie parodies for you.

Thanks again to JN for crankin’ out this Behind the Scenes strip.  All I have to  say it is, when I wrote it, JN was humping a blow-up doll of Jessica Biel.  I’m not sure what sick, twisted perversions JN has going on inside that head of his (then again, read y2cl), but this strip has a serious lack of The Biel.

There we go, problem solved.

If you’ve followed For The Reels for over a year, you’d know that my hard drive on my Macbook becomes dismounted annually.  It sucks, but not so much that I’d go get another computer.  For me, having to take it to be repaired so often is a price I’d gladly pay for the lack of other issues I have with it.  49 weeks out of the year, my computer runs like a dream.

The repairs are covered under warranty, but it’ll take 3 weeks for the new drive to get to the Mac Shack and for them to replace it.  The next parody will be mid-March and will make fun ofTaken.  In the mean time, we’ll be throwing some hilarious Behind-the-Scenes strips your way put together by the man, JN Horsely III.

For those that want to sing along (you’ll notice I skipped a whole section.  There were too many lyrics to fit the whole song on the page):

Click here to view the embedded video.

Sorry for getting this one up late, people.  But it’s still Monday, so that’s good!

When I set out to do an Empire Strikes Back joke, the first thought that popped into my head was the “Fuck you, DAD!!!” line from Reno 911.  I was going to have Darth Vader try and convince Luke they should spend some quality time together.  THEN, I thought what it would be like if Luke imagined Vader as a good father.  THEN the image of two armless cats high-fiving each other from VGCats popped into my head.  Mix ‘em all together and this is what you get.

Edit: the strip’s up now!  Check it out!

It’s crazy how your preconceived notions of a film that you watch as a kid turn out to be something entirely different when you’re older.  Like, I remember Forrest Gump being a boring, long-ass movie about a chocolate-loving retard when I was an 8 year old.  Watching through it again before drawing this strip made me see it for the wonderful film that it is.  I feel like I’ve finally matured…*sniff*

Anyway, I ran into a few snags when attempting to draw/write this comic.  Here’s some Forrest Gump facts I learned:

1) The line in the movie is, “Life was like a box of chocalates,” instead of “is like a box of chocolates.”

2) Forrest Gump’s mother doesn’t have a name.  She’s always referred to “Mrs. Gump” or “Momma” (by the way, I refuse to spell it “mama.”  When I see that, my Mexican side wants to pronounce it the Spanish way: maw-MAW instead of MAW-muh).

3) The film never shows where Forrest’s mom is buried.  I could have sworn she had a headstone next to Jenny at their house, but nope.  After that scene where he talks to her on her death bed, she’s never seen or mentioned again.  So I just kind of made up that she had a headstone on their land, somewhere near the house, but away from where Jenny’s would be.

I was a big fan of Sin City back in the day.  Nerdishly, I even took my trade paperbacks with me to see this flick opening day, thinking I would be able to follow along since the film followed the book so closely.  I ended up just tucking them under my seat in fear of ridicule, mainly from my ex-girlfriend.

Most people in the theater laughed at the absurdity of Marv’s nigh invulnerability.  I was confused as to why at first, because unlike them I knew these stories didn’t take place in reality.  In Frank Miller’s world, a man can get shot eleventy times, mowed down with a car, and still be able to dust himself off and castrate you.

And while that’s badass in the comics, on celluloid it didn’t quite translate well.  I think most people like to see their film heroes at bit more vulnerable, so I decided to run with that.  So here you go, people who went to the 8:00 showing at AMC Theater’s Flatiron Crossing 14 on April 1, 2005.  Here’s your vulnerable hero.  I hope you’re happy.

To all you trekkers out there:  I’m sorry.  Sometimes I even hate myself a little.  This was by far my favorite movie of 2009.

But hey, it’s funny, I think.  And we haven’t done a gay joke in forever, not since the Terminator strip (and that wasn’t really gay, just gay-ish).  Just think of this as an alternate alternate reality.  Wherein Spock Prime is a jerk.

… now that I think of it… I should’ve given Spock Prime a goatee.  Dammit!  Now I hate myself even more.

What’s this?  Is that JN in the bushes?  Yes, unfortunately.  I’d like to say it’s Jennifer Connelly in there peeping at the “goods” but instead it’s that guy in charge of y2cl.net with the questionable sexual orientation.

With Jon currently in South Korea, I went to JN to see if he wanted to help run For The Reels and end its hiatus, since I was a fan of his work and he made no secret of the fact he wanted to add FTR to his network of comics.  The result is this new comicpress site you see here.  So everybody do me a favor and thank the awesome JN ’cause without him we’d currently be without a site.

And even though he’s in South Korea, Jon still sends me emails with strip ideas regularly.  Expect to see his spoof on Forest Gump soon.

Read the comic again with this video playing.

Click here to view the embedded video.

If you’ve been reading For The Reels for a while, you’d know that Jon and I originally said that we would wait to parody a film until it’s DVD release.  That way we give a chance to those who haven’t seen it in theaters to see it before we spoil anything.  In this case, Avatar has only been out for about two-and-a-half weeks.  JN and I figured in our recent podcast that we could make an exception for huge event movies  (I mean, it’s not like people haven’t gone to see it, it’s made over $1 billion worldwide already).

Though we’re not going operate like Theater Hopper or Joe Loves Crappy Movies (awesome as they are) and riff on movies currently in theaters that people – or maybe, I – don’t care about.  For The Reels is about all great movies, old or new.  We’re still gonna do the old classics.  We’re still gonna do the more recent classics.  Avatar was so good, I’d consider it a new classic.

So when I first saw the movie and sat down to think of a joke, two thoughts popped into my head.  #1: Jake Sully probably had a wet dream in his machine when he mated with Neytiri.  It’s a funny concept but I wanted to draw something more visually engaging, as the movie was a visual masterpiece.  So I went with #2: At night, Pandora lights up like it’s under a black light.  People who go to raves would have a freakin’ awesome time there.

All the props go to my friend Sean for this joke.

It’s not often I hear a parody suggestion I like.  Those who know me will often throw ideas my way on what film we should spoof next/what the joke should be/what this week’s joke should’ve been.  Often they’re along the lines of: “… and then he shoots him it the face!  Ha!” or, “… and then he punches him in the dick!  Lolz!”

It’s… annoying.  At best.  Because me, being me, automatically think my ideas are divine revelations sent from the heavens to share with you all.  When I decided to spoof E.T., I got a rude awakening.

My initial thoughts were along the lines of, “What if E.T. dialed the wrong number when phoning home?”  It was a decent concept, but not as good as Sean’s.  He took the “ouch” moment from the movie and applied from Elliot’s finger to his balls.  I mixed it up a bit by having it take place during the flying bike scene and, ta-daa!: our first joke we totally stole from an outside, non-FTR source.

Thanks, Sean.  Just don’t expect any money or anything.

There were a lot of different adaptations of this story to choose from.  The version I knew the best was the Animaniacs cartoon.  J wanted the Mickey Mouse version.  Jon wanted the Patrick Stewart version.  The George C. Scott film was also suggested.  In the end, I went with the classic 1951 version because after doing some research, I found out it was one of the most revered films among fans of the novel that wasn’t a made-for-television movie.  So I watched that one and loved it.  It’s definitely up there next to It’s a Wonderful Life and Bad Santa as one of my favorite holiday films.

Jon, my twin brother and co-creator of For The Reels, decided to leave for South Korea for a year and teach English.  Which in my opinion was lame because the dude’s last name is Garcia.  He doesn’t speak a lick of Korean.  But apparently the kids in their schools already speak English, which raises an interesting paradox of why he’s currently there in the first place.

Perhaps their English needs a little refinement?  Like Dong-Won Kim’s?  (I guess the guy is well known in South Korea.  Listen to his Mariah Carey covers on YouTube.  Here’s “Tuts My Barreh (Touch My Body)”: )

Click here to view the embedded video.

I say NO!  That is not the case!  In my mind, Jon became a pop-diva wannabe and traveled to South Korea to become the next Dong-Won Kim, a.k.a. Long-Jon Him!

For right now, that’s an unsubstantiated claim.  But I’ll prove it someday.  See below in the comments section for Jon’s hilarious rebuttal.  If he has one…

Jon does, but his style is more realistic.  When I asked him to draw the strip I asked him to go against his methods and adopt a very simplistic, cartoonish style to make things easier.  And that’s the style we’ve decided to stick with, especially since I’ve taken over the drawing duties.

I’ve made no claims of being an artist.  I just like to make jokes and share them with you.  Two of my most favorite webcomics are Cyanide and Happiness and VGCats.  I didn’t want to go as simplistic as Cyanide and I couldn’t draw like Ramsoomair if my life depended on it (plus, look at how often he updates).  I figured a happy medium would suffice.

Sometimes I’m pleased with the visual result (Toy Story, Kill Bill), sometimes I’m not as much (Blazing Saddles, The Incredible Hulk).  But I believe each strip looks well enough to get the point across.  That’s about as much as I can offer.

But I’d like to say I can do more.  I’d like to try to.  As far as the parodies go, I’ll be trying my hardest to make sure the visual style of the comic continues evolving as it has from the very beginning.  Who knows, maybe one day I’ll be able to claim I am an artist.

So that’s what happened to that huge-ass rock he threw!

Y’know, I used to be a huge defender of Ang Lee’s 2003 Hulk movie.  Then I saw Leterrier’s Incredible “re-quel” and saw the error of my ways.  Lee’s film may have been good thematically, but Leterrier’s was a much better film for the character: less convoluted, more smashing, better cast.  It was simplified without being dumbed down.  I really don’t want to see anyone but Norton in the role from now on, here’s hoping he returns for the Avengers film and Incredible Hulk sequels.

All this was taken pretty much word for word from real conversations I had with Jon and JN during the course of the hiatus.   April through September was one long guilt-trip for me, and for a second I thought about altogether abandoning For The Reels.  Then Jon’s words of wisdom chimed in and said we could go back to doing comics.  That’s what I really wanted to do, but wasn’t sure how many of you would be pissed we weren’t doing the flash cartoons thing anymore.  Then Jon said he was moving to South Korea for a year, and I thought for sure that the comic was doomed.  But that’s a story for NEXT week…

I know, I know, we skipped “The Two Towers.”  We’ll get to that one eventually.  The whole Lord of the Rings series was amazing, but like the “Fellowship” joke, I decided to capitalize on a wtf moment from the film.  It just struck me as odd why Eowyn was able to kill the witch king just because she was a female.  Like his only weakness was the x chromosome.  Meh, girl power I guess.  It was a cool moment.

Hopefully they will be up to par.

Got any suggestions for movies you would like to see parodied? Tell us in our forums or leave a comment.

For today’s behind the scenes, I present you with the one and only flash cartoon I managed to get done during our hiatus.  Between Jon and I losing our jobs, me moving twice, Jon moving to Korea for a year, etc.; there wasn’t enough time or manpower to turn out that kind of content regularly.  Creating a comic only takes a couple days at most.

Converting all these comics into cartoons is something I still think would be cool, but right now it can’t be done.  It’s just me and JN working on the site right now, we would need like a whole team to take on a project of that magnitude.  And people who are better voice actors than me, ’cause I suck.  You should have heard me attempt to recite V’s alliterative monologue.  You’d have died laughing.

Enjoy “The Wholly Departed” cartoon!

P.S. – For some reason the toon doesn’t have side margins, so some of the work spills over.  I have no idea why, which goes to show you how much I really know about flash.

Go with me on this one, folks:

If I remember correctly, Bryan Singer stated during production of the film that “Superman Returns” continues the continuity of “Superman” and “Superman II.”

In “Superman II,” Lois Lane and Supes do the nasty (for the first and only time) after he uses a Kryptonian machine that strips him of his powers.  At the end of that movie, he uses the machine to get his powers back and defeat General Zod.  He also erases Lois Lane’s memory of his secret identity and their intimate encounter by kissing her.  (Yeah, weird…)

In “Superman Returns,” when the super-kid kills that henchman with the piano, Lois realized without a doubt that he was the son of Superman.  But if you remember, Superman erased her memory of the kid’s conception!  Shouldn’t she have been wondering how his super-sperm knocked her up?

The movie tries to play it off by referencing Lois’ article titled “My Night With Superman.”  But if you remember from Superman I, that article was about Lois’ first interview with him, not some steamy sexual rendezvous.

So, what I want to know is, how come Lois didn’t cry “Rape!”  And how come the writers didn’t catch this plot hole?

Before I say anything, let me make clear that we’re not going on hiatus again.  Nine months was long enough to not be cracking jokes and I don’t currently plan on taking a break for a long, long while.

When we first posted this strip in February 2009, our plan was to come back in a few minutes with a shiny new site design and our entire archive redone as flash cartoons.  The idea came about when I was talking with JN one day about how cool it would be to put our strips on DVD as a virtual comic.  After I played with the idea on iDVD, I realized that if these jokes were cartoons, they would be so much cooler on TV.  Admittedly, the idea was a little foolhardy, mainly due to my theory that it all could be done in a view months when I honestly hadn’t the faintest clue about the work involved.

I guess what I’m trying to say is that, in the end, I put all the blame squarely on JN.  Don’t worry about him, he can take it.

JN Here, I would like to jump into this posting and simply state it’s NOT MY FAULT Joe and Jon couldn’t finish what they started and if it wasn’t for ME For The Reels would still be on hiatus!

Now back to whatever Joe was talking about.

How it all panned out behind the scenes will be covered in the next couple weeks in these brand-new “Behind The Scenes” strips!  Next week’s “comic” will actually be the one and only flash cartoon I finished.  So be sure to check it out!

This whole Twilight fad is crap.  On a stick.

Not because of the legions of annoying girls.  Honestly, good for them.  Now they have something to be as excited about as us fanboys when movies like TDK and Iron Man come out.

Not because of the millions and millions of dollars the movies made despite their lack of quality.  I’m not a big box-office worry wart, mainly because I have no control over it and it’s drive me crazy if I were.

What really gets me is that the supposed “vampires” in the film are so freakin’ lame.  Vampires are supposed to have FANGS (at least retractable ones).  Vampires are supposed to die if they go in the sun, not sparkle like they’re in a pridefest parade.  Vampires are supposed to be badASS, not emo pusses.  Where the hell is Blade when you need him?  Now, those vampires were awesome.

The “New Moon” movie that just came out has werewolves, I guess what’s-her-face falls in love with one of them too.  I haven’t read the books but I’m guessing that in the next movie she bangs Frankenstein and in the one after that she becomes Imhotep’s bitch.

*Sigh* When’s “Thor” in theaters?

As I said with the previous strip, it’s easier to make the unfunny, funny.  So if we’re drawing a blank for the next joke, we usually just take one super-dramatic movie, add a funny twist, and voila!  Instant parody.

When it comes to these parodies, Jon and I set a number of rules early on:  1. They have to be funny.  2. One joke per movie, so as to parody as many different films as possible.  3. One movie per joke, because if we combine movies, then each one doesn’t get its due share, and part of the reason we do this comic is to pay homage to some great films.  This joke is the exception to that rule.

I had watched “Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone” for the first time when researching joke ideas for it, and was just drawing a blank.  I knew I didn’t like the film (never read the books, don’t plan to, Dr. Strange can kick Harry Potter’s ass), so all I knew was that the punchline was going to be Harry Potter dying.  ’Cause that was funny to me.  But how he would die was another matter, because I wanted to adhere to rule number 1.  Then I watched “Monty Python and the Holy Grail” and got my perfect setup.  But it was taboo because it would violate rule number 3.  After much discussion with Jon, we figured we could get away with it this time because we were probably never going to spoof Monty Python.  Making something unfunny into funny is easier than making the already funny, funnier.  Which is why you don’t see us spoofing many comedies, actually.

Anyway, there it is.  Your first “movie-combo.”  For not liking Harry Potter, I sure threw in a bunch of nods for the fans, like Precinct 9 and 3/4, the Nimbus 200, the Sorcerer’s Stone, and a Rememberall.

My younger brother Diego inspired the punch line to this strip.  He had a phase a while back when he would go, “Eff the police!” at times when a normal person would say, “Darn!” or “Ouch!”  I have no idea why.  It was totally random, but hilarious.