If you’re thinking that the artwork looks really static and simple, I apologize.  I had to crank this sucker out at the last minute with only about 6 hours to get it in in time.  My brother Jon, a DC fanboy, wrote it.

These blog musings are never very timely because I normally don’t parody films until they’ve left theaters (that way everyone gets the joke and nothing gets spoiled).  This is no exception, because the Dark Knight craze is long over, but here I am, about to finally comment on it.  What sucks is that everything about the film has already been said and repeated.

I am glad that all the hype wasn’t for naught, that the film was outstanding, and that it’s gargantuan box-office take will pave the road for more serious-minded superhero films.  Most of all, I’m glad Heath won the Oscar.  Like a lot of people, I was initially confused why he was cast, but I loved the way he took everything interesting about the comic character and just compounded it like all the best actors do.

I can’t wait to see how the new Superman movie, overseen by Christopher Nolan, comes out.  It’s gotta be better than the last one. Out of all the directors in the running, my vote is for Matt Reeves, but I’m still holding out hope that James McTeigue gets the job.  Zach Snyder seems to be the favorite, but I think his work is too stylized.  He’d be perfect for Wonder Woman, though.

EDIT: IT HAS BEEN CONFIRMED.  ZACK SNYDER IS DIRECTING THE NEXT SUPERMAN MOVIE.

Anyway, until next week, folks!

If you can tell, I modeled the dominatrix robot after Jocasta, for the comic fans.    At first, I was hesitant doing an Iron Man gag because I had just done X-Men about a month ago, and I like to keep things varied.  But I saw Iron Man 2 last Thursday at a midnight showing and knew I just had to spoof the first one.

I thought Iron Man 2 was awesome, just as good as the first.  My only quibbles, which are fanboy nitpicking, are just of the supporting characters.  Black Widow never spoke Russian and never used her trademark “widow’s bite” laser.  Ivan Vanko never became the Crimson Dynamo like I thought he was supposed to.  And Nick Fury didn’t really act like Nick Fury; he acted like Samuel L. Jackson.

However, I loved the story, I loved the acting, I loved the amped-up action.  Jon Favreau and Robert Downey Jr. definitely know how to handle the character of Tony Stark and can do no wrong in my book.  Go see the movie if you haven’t.  I wish I had more hands, that way I could give it four thumbs up!

I had several ideas running through my head when I decided to finally parody “X-Men.”  None of them were actually any good, though, so I decided to go with my foolproof backup plan, which was ask Jon to write it.  He thought of the first part of this strip on the spot, and I laughed pretty hard.

I decided to add the last three panels because I really wanted to draw Cyclops.  ’Cause he’s awesome and one of my favorites.  It always made me mad how the films never really gave him the respect he deserved.  I mean, he played a minor supporting role in “X2″ since he was brainwashed for the majority of the movie, and they killed him 15 minutes into X-Men 3!!!  And then to top it all off, in “X-Men Origins: Wolverine,” they took away his optic force blasts and gave him heat vision, like Superman.  Dicks!!! >:(

</geeky rant>

I was a big fan of Sin City back in the day.  Nerdishly, I even took my trade paperbacks with me to see this flick opening day, thinking I would be able to follow along since the film followed the book so closely.  I ended up just tucking them under my seat in fear of ridicule, mainly from my ex-girlfriend.

Most people in the theater laughed at the absurdity of Marv’s nigh invulnerability.  I was confused as to why at first, because unlike them I knew these stories didn’t take place in reality.  In Frank Miller’s world, a man can get shot eleventy times, mowed down with a car, and still be able to dust himself off and castrate you.

And while that’s badass in the comics, on celluloid it didn’t quite translate well.  I think most people like to see their film heroes at bit more vulnerable, so I decided to run with that.  So here you go, people who went to the 8:00 showing at AMC Theater’s Flatiron Crossing 14 on April 1, 2005.  Here’s your vulnerable hero.  I hope you’re happy.

So that’s what happened to that huge-ass rock he threw!

Y’know, I used to be a huge defender of Ang Lee’s 2003 Hulk movie.  Then I saw Leterrier’s Incredible “re-quel” and saw the error of my ways.  Lee’s film may have been good thematically, but Leterrier’s was a much better film for the character: less convoluted, more smashing, better cast.  It was simplified without being dumbed down.  I really don’t want to see anyone but Norton in the role from now on, here’s hoping he returns for the Avengers film and Incredible Hulk sequels.

Go with me on this one, folks:

If I remember correctly, Bryan Singer stated during production of the film that “Superman Returns” continues the continuity of “Superman” and “Superman II.”

In “Superman II,” Lois Lane and Supes do the nasty (for the first and only time) after he uses a Kryptonian machine that strips him of his powers.  At the end of that movie, he uses the machine to get his powers back and defeat General Zod.  He also erases Lois Lane’s memory of his secret identity and their intimate encounter by kissing her.  (Yeah, weird…)

In “Superman Returns,” when the super-kid kills that henchman with the piano, Lois realized without a doubt that he was the son of Superman.  But if you remember, Superman erased her memory of the kid’s conception!  Shouldn’t she have been wondering how his super-sperm knocked her up?

The movie tries to play it off by referencing Lois’ article titled “My Night With Superman.”  But if you remember from Superman I, that article was about Lois’ first interview with him, not some steamy sexual rendezvous.

So, what I want to know is, how come Lois didn’t cry “Rape!”  And how come the writers didn’t catch this plot hole?

I wanted this strip to be as bloody as possible because I love how violent and unapologetic the Blade movies were.  Especially the first flick, which had the EDTA weapon that made vampires explode like over-filled water balloons, hehe.  The second film was just as hardcore, but I have to fault the third with being the weakest in the trilogy.

I like the twist ending on this joke.  Anybody get fooled?  Anybody see it coming?

When I was a kid, this was one of my favorite movies.  The sequel kind of ruined it for me, but for a couple years, this movie was the definition of awesome.  And Will Smith was the man back then.  He’s at his best when he plays comedic characters like this, and I’m hoping that when (if) they make MIB III that it’ll return him back to his glory days before he started with all the depressing roles like Seven Pounds and Hancock.

“Here’s Web in Your Eye!” – A title so wrong it’s right.

Just be thankful you weren’t there when my mom asked me what that double entendre meant.  ”What double entendre?” I responded.  I don’t think she reads these comics anymore.

To whomever pointed out that Batman didn’t get lenses until The Dark Knight, I have one thing to say:

GEEK TEST!!!

Just kidding, we’re all geeks.  Batman is awesome.  For the longest time after we made this strip, Jon or I would randomly shout, “WHERE’D YOU GET THAT FALAFEL?” in our best scary Batman voice.

If I were one of the 300 Spartans at the battle of Thermopylae listening to Leonidas’ boosterish speech, I’d say, “Hell?  What’s that?  Is that some new restaurant? Are they any good? Am I wearing the proper attire? Why’d you just stab me?”

Get it? Because I wouldn’t know what hell is, being a believer in Greek mythology and Hades. And I’m annoying.

When it comes to crass humor, two things are the funniest: violence and sex.  The first strip, based off “The Departed” was the violence joke.  I’m sure you know what this one is.  In the joke, we make light of one of the only “v” words the V character didn’t use in his speech.  It was discovered when my girlfriend Melissa called the movie “V for Vagina.”  Yeah, she’s awesome.

Jon loves this movie and considers it a modern classic.  You’ll see us parody a lot of what we consider to be the greatest films of all time.  In our own twisted way, making fun of them is our way of paying homage to them.